Hello ladies

“Hello and welcome to iPhone 4. I am Siri – what can I help you with?”

“Look up Google Translate: Geordie to English.”

“Searching Geordie to English.”

(Looking down at phone screen, our blogger inadvertently mows down a Geordie.)

Rosel: “Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry!”

Geordie: “Grrrhtsrrrrgh!”

Rosel:  “Pardon? I don’t understand…”

Siri: *Geordie to English Google Translate is now active*

Geordie:  “Ssdsdgsjgsjd!”

Siri: “I don’t mind you bumping into me!”

Rosel:: “Oh…right.”

Geordie:  “Sdsdsdsdsrrrgrhh!”

Siri: “You look good!”

Rosel: “Errr, thanks - I think…”

Geordie: “Ssdsdgsjgsjd!”

Siri: “You’ll need that jacket out tonight!”

Geordie: “Smrgarmerghada ma?”

Siri: “Are you here for the week?”

Rosel: “No, I’m leaving today.”

Geordie: “Ah, ssdsdgsjgsjd!”

Siri: “Oh, what a pity!”

Rosel: “Yes, it’s a short trip. And where are you working this week?”

Geordie: *ssdsdgsjgsjd* Birmingham *ssdsdsds*
Siri: *ssdsdgsjgsjd* Birmingham *ssdsdsds*

Rosel: “Hold up, hold up …. There’s a glitch.” (hits iPhone 4 repeatedly against Tyne Millennium Bridge). “There. Now, you were saying?”

Geordie: “sdsghsgsthgeghejehdhd!”

Siri: “I am in Birmingham this week for business related reasons. I will spend my leisure time examining landmarks, visiting museums and learning about this region's rich local history.”

Rosel: *throws iPhone into Tyne* “what’s wrong with this thing?!”
Geordie: "SHRSHFRHSH%$*&*$%!!!!"

Siri: “…It has been most felicitous talking with you! I trust you are enjoying your historic places tour featuring Lord Nelson, Collingwood, and the battle of Trafalgar. Perhaps if you are ever within the borough again, we could partake of light refreshments and then retire to the billiard room?”

Men of Newcastle, stay strong and resolute in the knowledge that your words are getting through to the ladies you crack onto!

Check out this Sting parody